He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
