you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Man, I'm never going tanning again he noticed the burns on my ass
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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