the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Left my house last night with a girlfriend, $200 in my wallet, and 10 finger nails. Came home with no girlfriend, an empty wallet, and 9 1/2 finger nails.
Yea, I had a bad night too aha
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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