I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
i woke up to 115 texts from him all saying "do you love me??"
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
The struggles of a small town man whore
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
That makes sense.. A good Bj is a trump card in any argument
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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