Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
