So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
apparently they wrote a song entitled "butt slut" about her... im thinking shes not girlfriend material.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
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