Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
