I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
you should probably know that there's a naked dude in your window
i wouldn't normally say anything but you seem to not be there
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
