My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I was in a threesome last night that turned into a violent domestic dispute with damage to a hotel. Wish you were there!
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
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I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna drop in for a zip later man. It made me wanna eat my girls shampoo. Good shit
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
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