oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I have an empty apartment, Chinese food, and fresh batteries in my vibrator. There's nothing on this earth that could lure me out tonight.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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