I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
Randomize
