where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize