I just saw what sperm look like swimming around. I'm not happy with what you've put in my stomach.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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