saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
When I woke up my bed had been moved to the middle of my living room, a hippie was spooning me on one side and a pile of cocaine on the other, did I go through a time warp or are we still in 2012?
My dick pics could make it to the popular page on Instagram.
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Randomize