i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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