I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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