Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
thanks for singing to me while i puked last night
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
