i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
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Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
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Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.