Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????