Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
These People Made Expensive Mistakes That They’ll Regret Forever
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Things The Opposite Sex Just Doesn’t Understand
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.