I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.