I saw his package. It spoke to me.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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