Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
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