I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
I'm gonna answer everything she says with 'cum on da face' until she breaks up with me...great idea or greatest idea?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
