great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
Randomize
