I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
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