just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
I mean, don't most people have like a two week grace period where it's okay to ditch new friends?
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
