I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
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