Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Randomize
