Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize