Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
