i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Can we smoke pot out of a menorah?
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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