...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
are you going to last longer than 15 seconds
nope
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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