I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
