my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
I'm sitting next to this guy at the bar. I wrote him a little song in my head it goes "there is no fucking chance you're getting in my pants" gonna sing it to him after he buys me another drink.
I am midnight drunk by noon
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I feel like I just lived out a children's book called "The Day I Went to Law School Stoned"
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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