Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Randomize
