i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?