life lesson learned today: sleeping pills and laxatives don't mix.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
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just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
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you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.