whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
