goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Its about making memories worth repressing
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
