so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
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