some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
I understand Curling. That high.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
So uh. Your future in porn. Would you be willing to wear an alien costume for it?
Randomize
