Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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