happiness is walking an amphibious rodent on a leash
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
