i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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