Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
