Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
Who was that guy you went home with?
Hang on, I'm trying to ask his name right now.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
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