No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
Randomize
