once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Randomize
