yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
Randomize
