Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
Randomize
