I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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