tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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