That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Sorry you saw me having sex with your brother on the beach
Randomize
