I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
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We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
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Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
apparently they stopped looking at spit swabs under the microscope in bio ever since they found a sperm cell in one students sample
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
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