her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
and she was petting her beer can
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
That's the last time you suggest we can get our tab wiped by out-drinking the bartender.
It was my card, so what do you care that you lost?
Is your card paying for my plan b?
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
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