Doug is wearing your sports bra fyi
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
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