the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
