5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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