It was confusing and full of hummus
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Randomize
