and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Tonight I celebrated marriage equality by letting a girl I don't know kiss me at the club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize