no, he came in my armpit
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
Probably some sort of karmic revenge for me looking at titties somewhere along the way
and for that you shall suffer
God: I won't strike you down, but I shall introduce your child to Doja Cat during a quarantine
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