I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize