He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
Randomize