I'm going to rape someone's good day.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I cant see straight, her clothes are all over my floor and I'm covered in bite marks... No I will not go to brunch with you
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I bet he’d be surprised by the epic blow job he’d get if he stopped talking about his wife long enough for me to get in the mood
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