it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
Randomize
