I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
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