If I don't come home tonight, I've died in a pile of gay.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
So yeah, turns out I enjoy vaguely public group sex. Who knew?
In honor of the new administration, I'm going to make it my goal this weekend to get some lesbian action. Fuck Donald Trump and fuck Mike Pence. I'm going to be a spiteful gay.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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