I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
