don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
