I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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